Helping Anxious Kids and Teens Navigate Their Fear of the Future

As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your child from anxiety, especially when it seems like they’re overwhelmed by their fear of the future. You might hear them say things like, “What if I fail?” or “What if something bad happens?” These are common phrases for teens and kids who experience anxiety, but they can be frustrating and confusing for parents who want to know how to help.
Anxiety is a mental health condition that affects millions of children and teens around the world. For many young people, anxiety doesn’t just focus on what’s happening right now—it also leads to a constant worry about what’s coming next. Kids and teens with anxiety often feel a sense of dread or worry about the future, which can affect their ability to make decisions, engage in activities, or even enjoy their lives.
In this blog post, we’ll explore why kids and teens with anxiety fear the future, what might be causing this fear, and how parents can help their children navigate these emotions.
Why Kids and Teens with Anxiety Often Have Fear of the Future
To understand why kids and teens with anxiety often experience fear about the future, it’s important to first understand what anxiety is. Anxiety is a feeling of unease, nervousness, or worry, often about things that might happen in the future.
While it’s normal for everyone to experience some level of anxiety in life—like before a big test or a first date— kids and teens with anxiety often experience these feelings at much higher intensities.
Fear of the future stems from several key aspects of anxiety:
Fear of the unknown
Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. The future is full of unknowns, and for kids and teens with anxiety, this can be a terrifying prospect. Kids may constantly worry about what’s coming next because they can’t predict it.
They might fear things like what will happen in school, if they will make friends, or whether they will succeed in their goals. The inability to know or control future events can fuel their worries, making the future seem even more overwhelming.
Overthinking and catastrophizing is common with fear of the future
Another factor that contributes to fear of the future in anxious kids is overthinking, a common trait of anxiety. Kids and teens with anxiety tend to overanalyze situations, often imagining the worst possible outcomes. This is known as “catastrophizing.”
For example, a teen who has an upcoming exam might imagine that if they don’t do well, they’ll fail the class, ruin their future, and never get into college. These exaggerated thoughts can make even small challenges seem insurmountable.
Past experiences
Kids and teens with anxiety may also develop a fear of the future because of past experiences. If they have faced difficulties or felt anxious in similar situations before, they may worry that those problems will repeat themselves.
For example, a child who struggled with public speaking in the past may feel anxious about an upcoming presentation. They might worry that they’ll make the same mistakes or be embarrassed again. Their past experiences create a pattern of anxiety that they carry with them. Thus may make them afraid of repeating past mistakes or facing new challenges.
Perfectionism
Many kids and teens with anxiety are perfectionists. They may have very high standards for themselves and fear that anything less than perfection will lead to failure. This can create a constant worry about the future, as they are afraid that they won’t meet their own expectations.
A teen who is always worried about getting the perfect grades, performing flawlessly in sports, or always being the best at something might fear that they won’t live up to these expectations in the future.
Social and peer pressures
As kids get older, social pressures become more prominent. Teenagers may worry about their relationships with friends, family, and peers. They may fear rejection, not fitting in, or missing out on experiences.
Social media can amplify these fears by presenting an unrealistic portrayal of others’ lives. This depiction can lead teens to feel like they aren’t measuring up. These social pressures can create a constant fear of how they will be perceived in the future, leading to heightened anxiety.
What Makes Kids and Teens Have Fear of the Future?
It can be helpful to understand anxiety about the future through examples. Here are a few scenarios that illustrate how anxiety might present itself in kids and teens:
- The fear of a new school year
As the summer comes to an end, a middle schooler might feel a rising sense of dread about starting a new school year. They may worry about making new friends, fitting in with their classmates, or whether they’ll be able to keep up with the academic demands. Their fear might escalate to the point where they begin to feel sick or withdraw from social activities as they imagine all the worst-case scenarios. - The high school junior worried about college
A high school junior may become overwhelmed with anxiety about the future when it comes time to think about college applications. They may fear that their grades aren’t good enough, that they won’t be accepted into a good school, or that they won’t be able to afford tuition. This anxiety about their future can make it difficult for them to focus on their current schoolwork or participate in extracurricular activities, as they are preoccupied with worrying about the upcoming challenges.
- The teen who fears social rejection
For some teens, social anxiety can become a barrier to enjoying life. A teen who constantly worries about fitting in or being rejected by their peers may start to dread social events like birthday parties or school dances. They might avoid these events altogether out of fear that something will go wrong, such as not having anyone to talk to or being left out of conversations.
How Parents Can Help Their Kids and Teens Who Have Fear of the Future
As a parent, it’s important to acknowledge and validate your child’s fears while helping them develop strategies to manage their anxiety about the future. Here are some steps you can take:
Listen and validate their feelings
One of the most important things you can do is listen. When your child expresses fear about the future, it’s essential to validate those feelings instead of brushing them off. Let them know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you understand how they’re feeling.
For example, if your teen is worried about a future event, you might say, “I can see that you’re feeling nervous about your upcoming presentation. It’s normal to feel that way, but I know you can handle it.” Validation can help your child feel heard and supported.
Teach coping skills
Help your child develop healthy coping skills for managing anxiety. One helpful strategy is teaching them how to ground themselves in the present moment, especially when their worries about the future feel overwhelming.
Encourage your child to use techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or focusing on something they can control in the present. These techniques can help calm their minds and reduce feelings of panic about the unknown.
Encourage small steps toward facing fears
Sometimes, kids and teens with anxiety avoid situations that make them anxious, which can reinforce their fears. Help your child take small steps toward confronting their fears.
For example, if your teen is anxious about giving a presentation, encourage them to practice in front of a supportive family member first. By gradually facing their fears, they’ll learn that they can handle uncomfortable situations, which can help reduce their anxiety over time.
Challenge catastrophic thinking
When children and teens catastrophize or imagine the worst-case scenario, it can feel like their fears are insurmountable. Encourage them to challenge their negative thoughts by asking questions like, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? How likely is that to happen?” By exploring these thoughts in a realistic way, your child can learn to view situations more rationally, reducing their fear of the future.
Create a positive outlook
Help your child reframe their thinking about the future by encouraging them to focus on what they can control and the positive aspects of their situation.
For example, if they’re anxious about an upcoming event, help them focus on the things that might go well, like making new friends or learning something new. Emphasizing positive outcomes can shift their perspective from fear to optimism.
Seek professional help if needed
If your child’s anxiety about the future is significantly affecting their day-to-day life, it may be helpful to seek professional support. An experienced child therapist in Chicago like myself who specializes in working with kids and teens with anxiety can provide valuable tools and coping strategies.
Concluding Thoughts on Your Child’s Fear of the Future
Anxiety about the future is a common experience for many kids and teens, but it doesn’t have to control their lives. By understanding the causes of anxiety and providing your child with tools to manage their fears, you can help them build resilience and confidence in facing whatever comes their way.
Remember, it’s important to listen, validate, and support your child as they navigate their anxiety, and don’t hesitate to seek child therapy at Briefly Counseling if necessary. Together, we can help your child overcome their fear of the future and embrace a life filled with possibility.
Begin Child Therapy in Chicago, Illinois and Florida for Anxious Kids and Teens!
If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and child therapy for anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling can help.
Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.
And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.
As an experienced and caring child therapist in Chicago, IL and FL, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or complete my Contact Form to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.
Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.
Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.
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Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.