Helping Your Kids and Teens Overcome Social Anxiety

Photo of blond Caucasian school aged girl sitting on a bleacher looking downward and sad with her knees pulled up to her chest while two girls sit nearby laughing with one another and ignoring her. Photo could represent how this girl is exhibiting symptoms of social anxiety and how she might benefit from child therapy in Chicago at Briefly Counseling, PLLC.

School aged African American girl with a back pack looking sad and leaning into her mother who has her arm around her. Photo could represent how this girl is struggling with social anxiety and needs the help of a skilled child therapist in Chicago to help her overcome it.Does your child avoid speaking up in class or making new friends? Do they seem overly worried about being judged or embarrassed in social situations? Social anxiety can make even the simplest interactions feel overwhelming. As a parent, I know the desire to help your child is strong. Thankfully, understanding social anxiety and learning effective strategies to support your child can make a world of difference.

In this blog post, I’m going to provide a clear definition of social anxiety, outline its symptoms, and discuss proven strategies to help your child build confidence and thrive socially.

What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social situations. While it’s normal for children and teens to feel nervous in certain social scenarios, social anxiety is more than just shyness. It can interfere with their ability to engage in everyday activities like attending school, participating in extracurricular activities, or spending time with friends.

For children and teens with social anxiety, situations like answering a question in class, starting a conversation, or even eating in front of others can cause significant distress. This fear often leads to avoidance behaviors, which can further isolate them and intensify their anxiety over time.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

Recognizing the symptoms of social anxiety is the first step in supporting your child. Here are some common signs to look for:

Emotional symptoms:

  • Intense fear of being judged or embarrassed in social situations.
  • Worrying excessively about upcoming social events.
  • Feeling self-conscious and easily overwhelmed in group settings.

Physical symptoms:

  • Blushing, sweating, or trembling.
  • Rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath.
  • Stomachaches or nausea before or during social situations.

Behavioral symptoms:Photo of blond Caucasian school aged girl sitting on a bleacher looking downward and sad with her knees pulled up to her chest while two girls sit nearby laughing with one another and ignoring her. Photo could represent how this girl is exhibiting symptoms of social anxiety and how she might benefit from child therapy in Chicago at Briefly Counseling, PLLC.

  • Avoiding social interactions, such as school events, parties, or group activities.
  • Difficulty making or maintaining eye contact.
  • Speaking very quietly or not at all in certain situations.
  • Relying on others (like parents or siblings) to navigate social settings.

How Parents Can Help Their Child Overcome Social Anxiety

As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child manage social anxiety. While overcoming social anxiety takes time, patience, and practice, the following strategies can set your child on a path to success.

Validate their feelings

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings without judgment. Let them know that it’s okay to feel nervous or scared and that their emotions are normal. For example, you might say:

“I can see that speaking in front of the class makes you feel nervous. That’s a common feeling, and it’s okay to feel that way. Let’s talk about how we can make it a little easier for you.”

Validating their feelings helps your child feel understood and supported, which is a critical first step in building their confidence.

Encourage gradual exposure

Gradual exposure to social situations can help your child build confidence over time. Start with small, manageable challenges and gradually increase the difficulty as they become more comfortable. For example:

  • Step 1: Have your child say hello to a neighbor.
  • Step 2: Encourage them to order their own food at a restaurant.
  • Step 3: Help them prepare and practice for a classroom presentation.

Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, to reinforce their progress.

Teach social skills

Photo of Caucasian mom and her young daughter having a tender and animated conversation together. Photo could represent how loving this mother is in role playing with her daughter and teaching her social skills in order to overcome her social anxiety.Some kids and teens with social anxiety struggle because they don’t feel confident in their social skills. You can help by teaching them simple techniques, such as:

  • Making eye contact while speaking.
  • Practicing polite greetings and responses.
  • Using open body language.

Role-playing social scenarios at home can be a helpful way to practice these skills in a low-pressure environment. For example, you might pretend to be a classmate and practice starting a conversation or asking for help with homework.

Model confidence

Children often learn by observing their parents. By modeling confident and positive social behaviors, you can show your child that it’s possible to navigate social situations successfully. For instance:

  • Greet neighbors warmly when you see them.
  • Express gratitude to service workers, like cashiers or servers.
  • Stay calm and composed during challenging social interactions.

Focus on strengths

Social anxiety can make kids and teens feel overly critical of themselves. Help your child identify and focus on their strengths, such as creativity, kindness, or a talent they enjoy. Encourage them to engage in activities that highlight these strengths, like joining a club, volunteering, or pursuing a hobby. Success in these areas can boost their confidence and make social interactions feel less intimidating.

Practice relaxation techniques

Teaching your child relaxation techniques can help them manage the physical symptoms of social anxiety. Some effective methods include:

  • Deep breathing: Encourage your child to take slow, deep breaths to calm their nervous system. A simple exercise is the “4-7-8 technique”: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.
  • Progressive muscle relaxation: Guide your child to tense and then relax different muscle groups to release tension.
  • Mindfulness: Help your child practice being present in the moment through guided meditations or mindfulness apps.

Set realistic expectations

Overcoming social anxiety is a process, and setbacks are normal. Avoid putting too much pressure on your child to be “perfect” in social situations. Instead, celebrate their efforts and progress, even if the outcome isn’t ideal. For example, if your child agrees to attend a birthday party but doesn’t interact much, praise their bravery for going.

Seek professional help when needed

If your child’s social anxiety significantly interferes with their daily life, consider seeking support from an experienced child therapist in Chicago like me at Briefly Counseling, PLLC. Therapies like Solution-Focused Brief Therapy are highly effective for treating social anxiety. I can help your child build their skills and gradually face their fears in a supportive environment.

Real-Life Examples of Parents Helping their Kids withPhoto of smiling teen girl standing in front of her class and giving a presentation while her female teacher stands nearby also smiling. Photo could represent how far this teen has come in overcoming her social anxiety since receiving counseling from her online child therapist in Chicago at Briefly Counseling, PLLC. Social Anxiety

Example 1: Preparing for a school presentation

Anna, a 14-year-old with social anxiety, feels panicked about giving a presentation in her history class. Her mother helps her prepare by:

  • Practicing the presentation multiple times at home.
  • Encouraging Anna to focus on one friendly face in the audience.
  • Using relaxation techniques like deep breathing before and during the presentation.

Afterward, Anna’s mother celebrates her effort, saying, “I’m so proud of you for getting up there and giving it your best. That took a lot of courage.”

Example 2: Joining a sports team

Ethan, a 12-year-old who loves soccer but avoids joining teams because of his social anxiety, expresses interest in a local league. His father supports him by:

  • Attending the first practice with him and staying nearby.
  • Encouraging Ethan to set small goals, like introducing himself to one teammate.
  • Praising Ethan’s efforts after each practice.

Over time, Ethan grows more comfortable and begins to enjoy being part of the team.

Concluding Thoughts on Social Anxiety

Helping a child or teen with social anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to meet them where they are. By validating their feelings, teaching social skills, and encouraging gradual exposure, you can empower your child to face their fears and build confidence.

Remember that progress may be slow, but every small step forward is a victory. With your support and, if needed, professional help, your child can learn to navigate social situations with greater ease and self-assurance.

Begin Child Therapy in Chicago, Illinois and Florida for Anxious Kids and Teens!

Photo of Asian female teen sitting at her desk with her hands on the keyboard of her open laptop in front of her. Photo could represent this teen having an online counseling session with her Christian counselor in Chicago in order to help her overcome her social anxiety.If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and child therapy for anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling, PLLC can help.

Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.

And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.

As an experienced and caring child therapist in Chicago, IL and FL, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or complete my Contact Form to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.

Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling, PLLC. I specialize in providing online anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.

Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.

And effective 2024, I am now licensed in Florida! For parents in Jacksonville, Pensacola, Destin, Crestview, Coral Gables, Weston, Parkland, Naples, Marco Island, and Pinecrest, I have immediate openings.

Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.