Supporting Kids and Teens with Anxiety: Why Conversations Are So Difficult

Photo of sad school-aged Caucasian girl sitting at a table resting her head in her hands while her mother sits behind her with her arms raised in frustration trying to talk to her daughter. Photo could represent how daughter is starting to avoid conversations with her mother and the need for child therapy in Chicago with Briefly Counseling, PLLC.

Photo of sullen Caucasian preteen girl sitting on a couch with her arms crossed looking at her mother who is touching her face and trying to get her to talk. Photo could represent a mother trying to get her child with anxiety to open up and have a conversation as recommended by the daughter's counselor in Chicago. If you’ve ever asked your child how their day went and got a shrug or a one-word answer—or maybe no answer at all—you’re not alone. For kids and teens with anxiety, even simple conversations can feel overwhelming. You might wonder, Why won’t they talk to me? or How can I help them open up?

It’s not about being rude or disrespectful. It’s about the invisible weight of anxiety that can make even everyday interactions feel like too much.

Let’s explore why anxiety can make conversations difficult for your child or teen—and what you can do to help them feel more comfortable, supported, and heard.

Why Anxiety Makes Conversations So Hard for Kids and Teens with Anxiety

There are several reasons why your child’s anxiety can make conversations difficult, such as:

Fear of saying the wrong thing

Many kids and teens with anxiety worry constantly about making mistakes. They might think:

What if I say something stupid?
What if they judge me?
What if I can’t explain myself right?

This kind of anxious self-talk creates a lot of pressure. It’s like trying to walk a tightrope while juggling—every word feels risky, and one slip could feel like a disaster.

Overthinking everything

An anxious brain often works overtime. Before your child even starts speaking, they might be rehearsing what to say, predicting your reaction, and second-guessing everything. All this mental chatter can make it almost impossible to get the words out.

Physical symptoms get in the way

Anxiety isn’t just in the mind—it shows up in the body, too. Your child might experience:

A racing heart
Shaky hands or voice
Shortness of breath
A tight throat or stomachaches

These symptoms can make talking feel physically uncomfortable or even painful.

Avoidance becomes a habit

To cope with this discomfort, many anxious kids start avoiding conversations altogether. It’s not that they don’t want to talk—it’s just that not talking feels safer.

Over time, this avoidance can turn into a pattern and breaking it can be difficult without support.

How Parents of Kids and Teens with Anxiety Can Help: 7 Supportive Strategies

You can’t take away your child’s anxiety—but you can be a powerful support as they learn to manage it. Here’s how to help your child or teen feel safer and more confident in conversations:

Create a calm, low-pressure environment

Some kids need time and space to feel ready to talk. Avoid putting them on the spot with big questions like “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why won’t you talk to me?”

Instead, try quiet, casual moments—like during a car ride, walk, or bedtime. These are times when there’s less eye contact and fewer distractions.

Try this:

“I’m here if you ever want to talk. No pressure—I just like spending time with you.”

This lets your child know the door is open, without forcing them to walk through it.

Use open-ended, non-threatening questions

Instead of yes/no questions (“Did you have a good day?”), ask ones that invite reflection but don’t demand deep emotions right away.

Try this:

“What was the best part of your day?”
“What’s something that made you laugh today?”
“If your day was a weather forecast, what kind of weather would it be?”

Creative questions like these allow your child to express themselves in a way that feels safer and less direct.

Normalize and name anxiety

Sometimes kids don’t even realize anxiety is what’s holding them back. Helping them name it takes some of the power away.

Try this:

“Sometimes when I feel anxious, it’s hard to get words out. Do you ever feel that way?”

Or:

“It seems like talking about this might be a little stressful. That makes sense—this stuff can be hard.”

When you name anxiety without judgment, your child learns that what they’re feeling is real, understandable, and manageable.

Be a “listening coach,” not a problem-solver

It’s tempting to jump in with advice, but anxious kids often just need to feel heard first. Resist the urge to fix it right away.

Instead of:

“Here’s what you need to do…”

Try:

“That sounds really tough. Want to tell me more?”
“Thanks for trusting me with that.”

When your child feels understood, they’re more likely to keep talking—and over time, to ask for advice when they’re ready.

Use humor and playfulness when you can

Anxiety is heavy, but conversations don’t always have to be. Shared laughter builds connection and lowers stress.

Even something small, like making a silly guess before a real question, can lighten the mood.

Try this:

“Tell me three things about your day—two true, one made-up—and I’ll guess which one’s the fake.”

Games like this can open the door to real connection in a way that feels fun, not forced.

Model talking through your own anxiety

Kids learn a lot by watching how adults handle stress. If you can show that you also struggle with anxiety sometimes—and how you cope—it gives them permission to be human, too.

Try this:

“I had to give a presentation today, and I was super nervous. I took a few deep breaths before I started, and it helped a little.”

Sharing your coping skills shows them that anxiety doesn’t have to shut them down—it’s something that can be worked through.

Celebrate brave communication—even small steps

When your child shares something, even just a little, celebrate that moment. Not with a big fuss—but with quiet, meaningful encouragement.

Try this:

“Thanks for telling me that. I know that wasn’t easy.”
“I’m proud of you for talking about this.”

The more positive experiences your child has with opening up, the more likely they’ll do it again.

When to Seek Extra Help for Kids and Teens with Anxiety

If your child avoids conversations most of the time, melts down when asked simple questions, or seems Photo of smiling Caucasian teen sitting in a grey chair against a white wall communicating with someone online from home on the laptop webcam. Photo could represent how much better and less anxious this teen is feeling since learning how to communicate better from her online child therapist in Chicago, Helena Madsen, who works with kids and teens with anxiety in Illinois and Florida. stuck in worry that doesn’t go away, it may be time to contact Briefly Counseling, PLLC for professional support.

Counseling with someone like me who specializes in anxiety in kids and teens can help your child learn skills to manage their fears, build confidence, and communicate more freely.

I can also help you as a parent learn new tools for supporting your child, improving your relationship, and lowering conflict at home.

Final Thoughts on Conversations with Kids and Teens with Anxiety

It’s easy to take conversations for granted. But for a child or teen with anxiety, speaking up can feel like climbing a mountain. When words are tangled up in fear, they need more than just questions—they need understanding, patience, and encouragement.

As a parent, you can be a steady guide in the storm. You don’t need all the right words—you just need to keep showing up with compassion, curiosity, and love.

Little by little, your child will learn that it’s safe to speak, and that their voice matters.

Begin Anxiety Counseling in Chicago, Illinois and Florida for Anxious Kids and Teens!

If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and child therapy for anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling can help.

Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.

And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.

As an experienced and caring child therapist in Chicago, IL and FL, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or complete my Contact Form to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.

Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.

Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.

I am now also licensed in Florida! For parents in Jacksonville, Pensacola, Destin, Crestview, Coral Gables, Weston, Parkland, Naples, Marco Island, and Pinecrest, I have immediate openings.

Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.