Supporting Your Child With Online Counseling When Their First Choice Teacher Isn’t an Option
Starting a new school year can be exciting and nerve-wracking for kids and parents alike. For children with anxiety, this time can be especially challenging, especially if they don’t get the teacher they were hoping for. Online counseling for anxious kids and teens can help!
As parents, it’s natural to want the best for your child, but it’s also important to help them navigate these emotions and learn how to cope with disappointment. After all, disappointment is something we must all learn to navigate as we grow and mature.
In this article, we’ll look at why children may react anxiously to not getting their preferred teacher and how you can successfully support them through this transition.
Understanding the Source of Anxiety
As parents, we can sometimes have a hard time understanding the fears underlying the anxiety in our kids. We think all the teachers at the school are good so what difference does it make? Let’s look at some of the sources of this anxiety and why your child is struggling.
Fear of the unknown
One of the main reasons children may feel anxious about not getting their preferred teacher is the fear of the unknown. They may have heard positive things about a particular teacher or had older siblings or friends who had a great experience with them.
When assigned to a different teacher, they might worry about what this new person will be like and whether they’ll have a good experience. Once down the rabbit hole of worry, it can escalate into catastrophizing or continually searching for reasons this teacher doesn’t live up to the other one.
Loss of control
Children, like adults, often find comfort in routines and familiar situations. Not getting their first-choice teacher can make them feel a loss of control over their environment.
They might worry that the new teacher won’t understand their needs, won’t be as nice, or won’t teach in a way that suits their learning style. This uncertainty can be unsettling, especially for kids who thrive on predictability.
Social concerns
Another common source of anxiety is the social aspect of school. Children may worry about being separated from friends who got into different classes or being placed with students they don’t know or don’t get along with. This can make the prospect of a new school year feel daunting.
Developmental considerations
Children’s brains are still developing, particularly in areas related to emotion regulation and
executive function. This means they may not yet have the skills to manage their emotions as effectively as adults.
They may feel emotions more intensely and have difficulty seeing the bigger picture, leading to heightened anxiety and disappointment.
Previous experiences
Previous experiences can also play a significant role in how your child reacts to not getting their preferred teacher. If they’ve had a negative experience with a teacher in the past, they may fear a repeat of that experience.
On the other hand, if they’ve had a very positive experience, they might be worried that the new teacher won’t measure up.
Personality and temperament
Every child is different, and their personality and temperament can influence how they react to change and disappointment. Some children are naturally more adaptable and resilient, while others may be more sensitive and prone to anxiety. Understanding your child’s unique characteristics can help you tailor your support to their needs.
Helping Your Child with Anxiety Cope with Disappointment with Online Counseling
It’s critical that we teach our kids how to handle disappointment. When parents call school administrators to switch their child’s teachers merely because of preference (as opposed to valid reasons), we are in effect teaching our kids to avoid disappointment at all costs.
We’re not teaching them how to cope with it, which is a shame given how ill-prepared they’ll be when they face disappointment in the future.
Here are some healthy ways to guide your child through disappointment.
Acknowledge their feelings
The first step in helping your child cope is to acknowledge their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel disappointed or anxious. Validating their emotions can make them feel understood and supported, which can be very comforting.
Example: “I understand you’re disappointed about not getting the teacher you wanted. It’s okay to feel that way. Let’s talk about it.”
Encourage open communication
Encourage your child to talk about their fears and concerns. Ask open-ended questions to help them express themselves, such as, “What are you most worried about?” or “What do you think will be different with this new teacher?” This can help you better understand their anxieties and address them more effectively.
Focus on the positives
Try to shift the focus to the positives. Remind your child of the exciting parts of starting a new school year, like making new friends, learning new things, and participating in fun activities. Highlight the opportunities that come with having a new teacher, such as learning in a different style or discovering new interests.
Example: “I know you’re worried about not having Mrs. Smith but think about how much fun it could be to learn from a new teacher. You might discover something you really enjoy!”
Practice flexibility
Flexibility is an essential skill for coping with life’s uncertainties. Help your child develop this skill by encouraging them to adapt to new situations. You can do this by exposing them to new experiences and helping them see the value in being open to change.
Example: “Remember when we tried that new restaurant, and it turned out to be really good? Sometimes trying new things can be a pleasant surprise.”
Role-playing scenarios
If your child is anxious about specific situations, such as meeting the new teacher or making new friends, try role-playing these scenarios. This can help them feel more prepared and confident when the time comes.
Example: “Let’s pretend I’m the new teacher. You can practice introducing yourself and asking a question. This way, you’ll know what to say when you meet them.”
Develop a coping plan
Work with your child to develop a plan for managing their anxiety. This might include deep breathing exercises, positive self-talk, or having a trusted item with them, like a special bracelet or note. Having a plan can give them a sense of control and help them feel more prepared.
Example: “If you start to feel anxious, try taking a few deep breaths and telling yourself, ‘I can handle this.’ You can also keep this note from me in your pocket to remind you that I’m thinking of you.”
When to Seek Online Counseling for Your Anxious Child
While most kids can adapt to a new teacher with time and support, some may struggle more than others.
If your child’s anxiety seems overwhelming or persists for an extended period, it may be helpful to seek professional help.
An online anxiety specialist at Briefly Counseling can work with your child to develop coping strategies and address underlying issues. We’re always here to assist you and your child get off to a great start this school year!
Not getting their preferred teacher can be a challenging experience for your child, especially if they struggle with anxiety. You play a crucial role in helping them navigate these feelings and learn valuable life skills.
By acknowledging their emotions, encouraging open communication, and focusing on the positives, you can help your child build resilience and adaptability.
Remember, every experience is an opportunity for growth, and with your support, your child can thrive in any classroom.
Begin Online Anxiety Therapy for Kids and Teens in Illinois and Florida!
If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and online anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling can help.
Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.
And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.
As an experienced and caring therapist, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or email Helena@BrieflyCounseling.com to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.
Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.
Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.
And effective 2024, I am now licensed in Florida! For parents in Jacksonville, Pensacola, Destin, Crestview, Coral Gables, Weston, Parkland, Naples, Marco Island, and Pinecrest, I have immediate openings.
Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.
