When Summer Break Feels Lonely: Helping Your Child Navigate Social Anxiety

Photo of Caucasian teen girl sitting on the floor with her back against a grey couch looking at the phone in her hand. Photo could represent the social anxiety this girl feels during summer break and the difficulty she has reaching out to friends. This photo could also represent how helpful it could be for her to work with a child therapist in Chicago like Helena Madsen at Briefly Counseling to help her overcome her social anxiety.

Summer break can be a welcome relief from school stress for many kids and teens. But for those who struggle with social anxiety, summer can bring a new set of challenges. During the school year, kids are naturally surrounded by peers every day. They have a built-in routine of seeing friends in class, at lunch, or during extracurricular activities. Summer changes that. The structure of school disappears, and with it, the regular opportunities for social connection.

If your child already finds it difficult to socialize, summer break can make things even harder. Suddenly, they have to reach out to friends on their own. They may feel unsure about what to say, afraid of being rejected, or uncomfortable making plans. If no one reaches out to them, they may assume people don’t like them or that something is wrong with them. This can leave them feeling isolated, anxious, or even depressed.

The good news is that there are many ways you can support your child during this time. Social anxiety doesn’t have to control their summer. With a little planning, some gentle encouragement, and the right tools, you can help your child stay socially connected and emotionally healthy over the break.

Why Summer Is Hard for Kids with Social Anxiety

During the school year, most kids don’t have to do much to be social—it just happens. Even shy or anxious kids are placed in situations where interaction is required. They may sit next to someone in class, work on a group project, or chat with a friend at lunch. These natural interactions help build social confidence over time.

In summer, though, those automatic social moments disappear. Suddenly, your child has to take the lead. They need to initiate plans, send texts, or call a friend. That might sound simple, but for a child with social anxiety, it can feel overwhelming.

Here are some common thoughts anxious kids may have:

“What if they don’t want to hang out with me?”
“What if I say something stupid?”
“What if I text them and they never reply?”
“I’m probably bothering them.”

These thoughts can stop them from reaching out at all. And the longer they go without social interaction, the more anxious and alone they may feel.

How Parents Can Help their Child with Social Anxiety

As a parent, you can play a big role in helping your child handle summer social anxiety. Here are some ways to support them:

Talk about it openly

Start by checking in with your child. Choose a relaxed time when you’re not rushing somewhere or distracted by chores. Let them know you’ve noticed that summer can be hard socially and ask how they’re feeling about it.

You might say something like:

“I know summer can feel a little strange when you’re not seeing friends every day like you do at school. How are you feeling about that?”

If your child opens up, listen without judgment. Resist the urge to jump in with advice right away. Just showing that you understand and care can ease their anxiety.

Normalize their experience

Let your child know they’re not alone. Many kids feel socially awkward or anxious, especially during unstructured times like summer. You can share stories (age-appropriate and not overly personal) about your own experiences or talk about how common it is to feel nervous about reaching out.

You might say:

“Lots of people feel uncomfortable making plans or texting friends first. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you—it just means your brain is trying to keep you safe.”

By normalizing their anxiety, you help reduce the shame or embarrassment that often comes with it.

Make a summer social plan together

Structure can help reduce anxiety. Sit down with your child and brainstorm a simple summer social plan. Ask:

Who would you like to spend time with this summer?
What kinds of things would you enjoy doing with a friend?
What days or weeks are good times to try to make plans?

Write down their ideas. Then, help them take one small step—like sending a short text to a friend or inviting someone to a low-pressure activity, like going for ice cream or playing a video game online.

For example:

“Hey, want to hang out this week? Maybe get ice cream or go for a walk?”
“Want to play Minecraft later this week?”

Help them keep it simple and low-pressure. The goal is to open the door to connection, not to plan a perfect outing.

Role-play or practice what to say

Photo of Caucasian mom and teen daughter both sitting on the floor of the teen's bedroom with an open laptop on the daughter's lap and a phone in the mom's hand which she is showing to her daughter. Photo could represent how this mother is helping her daughter to roleplay what to say to her friends over summer break to help her overcome social anxiety as recommended by her counselor in Chicago. For some kids, the hardest part is not knowing what to say. Practice together! You can pretend to be the friend and let your child try out different ways to start a conversation, make a plan, or respond to a text.

Some kids benefit from writing out a script or even keeping a short list of conversation starters on their phone.

You might suggest:

“Want to practice how you’d ask Alex to hang out?”
“What’s something you could text if you’re not sure what they’re doing this week?”

Practicing ahead of time can reduce fear and build confidence.

Start small

Social anxiety often shrinks when kids take small, manageable risks. If your child is very anxious, don’t push them to do something that feels overwhelming. Instead, encourage small steps:

Texting a friend instead of calling
Commenting on a friend’s social media post
Playing an online game together
Saying “hi” to someone at the pool or park

Each step builds confidence. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.

You can say:

“I’m proud of you for sending that text—that was a big deal!”
“It’s okay if they didn’t reply right away. You still did something brave.”

Consider group activities or camps

Structured social activities like day camps, sports teams, art classes, or volunteer projects can provide natural opportunities to meet other kids. These settings often feel less intimidating than one-on-one hangouts because there’s an adult present and something to focus on.

If your child is hesitant, see if they’ll agree to try just one day or one class. Remind them that they don’t have to make best friends right away—just showing up is enough.

Model and encourage social behavior

Your child is always watching how you handle social situations. If you model healthy social behavior—reaching out to friends, making plans, being open about feeling nervous sometimes—it helps them learn how to do the same.

You can also create a warm, welcoming environment for their friends. If they do invite someone over, try to make it low-key and comfortable, without too many rules or expectations.

Manage screen time with purpose

Many kids use screens to avoid social anxiety. While it’s okay to enjoy video games or social media, too much passive screen time can make anxiety worse and reduce real-life connection.

Help your child find a balance. You might create a screen time schedule together or set goals like:

“Try to talk to a friend today before spending more than an hour on YouTube.”
“Every time you want to scroll, check if there’s someone you could message first.”

Celebrate small wins

Progress with social anxiety is often slow and nonlinear. Your child may have a great day one week and feel stuck the next. That’s okay. Keep celebrating the small wins:

They sent a text
They smiled at a neighbor
They joined you at a family gathering
They agreed to try something new

Remind them that every step forward matters, even if it doesn’t lead to an instant friendship or perfect outcome.

Get extra help with social anxiety if needed

If your child’s social anxiety seems to be getting worse, or if they’re feeling very isolated or down, don’t hesitate to get extra support. An experienced child therapist who specializes in anxiety can work with your child to build confidence, learn skills, and practice social situations in a safe and supportive way.

Summer can be a great time to start counseling, since there’s often more flexibility in your child’s schedule. Even a few sessions can make a big difference.

Closing thoughts on social anxiety during the summer

Photo of two smiling teens - one Asian and one Caucasian looking down at the phone one of them is holding. Photo could represent how the one girl has progressed a lot in therapy with her Christian counselor in Chicago, Helena Madsen at Briefly Counseling in order to overcome her social anxiety and have a good time with friends. Social anxiety can make summer break difficult for kids and teens—but it doesn’t have to take over. With your help, your child can stay connected, take small social risks, and build confidence one step at a time.

Remember:

Summer disrupts the social routine of school, which can increase anxiety.
Your child may need help initiating contact with friends.
Small, low-pressure social opportunities are key.
Your support, encouragement, and understanding matter more than you know.

Social skills are just that—skills. They grow with practice. And summer can be a great time to build them.

If you’re looking for more resources or would like professional support for your child this summer, feel free to reach out to me, Helena Madsen, LCPC at Briefly Counseling, PLLC. You don’t have to go through this alone—and neither does your child.

Begin Social Anxiety Counseling in Chicago, Illinois and Florida for Anxious Kids and Teens!

If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and child therapy for anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling can help. Photo of smiling Hispanic pre-teen girl sitting at a desk with headphones on and an open laptop in front of her. Photo could represent an online session with her Christian counselor Helena Madsen at Briefly Counseling who works with kids and teens with anxiety in Illinois and Florida.

Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.

And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.

As an experienced and caring child therapist in Chicago, IL and FL, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or complete my Contact Form to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.

Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.

Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.

I am now also licensed in Florida! For parents in Jacksonville, Pensacola, Destin, Crestview, Coral Gables, Weston, Parkland, Naples, Marco Island, and Pinecrest, I have immediate openings.

Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.