Helping Kids Cope With Loss

Photo of mom and teen daughter sitting on a brown sofa in the living room with their hands clasped in prayer and mom with one hand covering her face which could represent the grief they are experiencing from a recent death in the family and the need for online therapy in Illinois for grief and anxiety.

We parents do our best to shield our kids from the harsh realities of the world. But as much as we try, we can’t always protect our kids from experiencing the pain of loss.

Whether it’s the loss of a beloved pet, a childhood friend, or the loss of a family member, young children are often unequipped to deal with the feelings of grief and sadness.


Loss Can Be Especially Tough on Kids with Anxiety

Loss is difficult for any child but even more so for kids who struggle with anxiety. Sometimes it is the catalyst for new and unwanted behaviors such as irrational fears and phobias. These behaviors can be confusing and upsetting for both child and parents alike.

Aside from the typical signs of loss such as sadness and crying, children can also develop obsessive thoughts or perform compulsive acts while they grieve because they believe it will keep them safe. They may be preoccupied with death and need constant reassurance from you that they’re going to be okay.

5 Ways to Help Your Child Cope with Loss

Thankfully there are things you can do to help your anxious child manage their emotions and grief in a healthy way.

Share what they can handle.

Kids have very big imaginations. They can often imagine a scenario that is far scarier than the current reality. While you may think speaking openly to kids about a pet or loved one’s illness and impending death will cause anxiety, very often not speaking with them will cause them even more.

Just be sure to share facts and information that are age-appropriate. For instance, a 12-year old may understand the concept of hospice care while a 5-year old may not. With younger children, share the simple essentials of death and dying.

Use children’s books.

It can be difficult finding just the right words to explain death and dying to a young child. At these times, children’s books about illness, dying and bereavement can be a tremendous help and can guide you in having developmentally appropriate conversations with younger kids. Ask your local library for recommendations. They are likely to have some excellent recommendations for you.

Encourage Their Honest Feelings.

Loss can cause people of all ages to completely shut down emotionally. Emotional numbness is a form of denial. While it’s okay for a child to take some space after the initial loss, you will need to help them feel their feelings about it.

Encourage them to journal, write, draw, paint, dance or whatever they feel like doing to express their grief and emotions. It’s important that they learn how to process their feelings now while they’re young as this is an important skill to bring into adulthood.

Accept Their Honest Feelings.

Like adults, kids may go through a range of emotions from anger to sadness, guilt to shame. Often times, they’ll cycle through the same feelings many times. It’s natural and okay for your child to feel any emotion they may have. Let them know this is normal and support them at every step of their grieving process.

Seek Help.

Your child may benefit from speaking with a professional therapist who can offer tools and coping strategies. You’ll want to look for someone who’s not only qualified but who both you and your child will feel comfortable working with.

Begin Online Counseling for Kids with Anxiety in Illinois

If your child’s anxiety over a loss feels too big to deal with on your own and you need help figuring out what to do about it, online therapy can help. Anxiety may feel overwhelming, but it is highly treatable. Often having a hopeful conversation about feelings and specific ways to move forward is the best way to experience change.

As an experienced and caring therapist, I love providing online anxiety treatment for kids. To start your child’s counseling journey, follow these simple steps:


  1. Click on the Schedule an Appointment button.
  2. Select a day and time in my online calendar
  3. Or learn about me, your caring online therapist 
  4. Watch your child gain confidence and feel better

Other Counseling Services at Briefly Counseling

Anxiety counseling for kids isn’t the only service I offer in my Chicago and Illinois online counseling practice. Other mental health services provided by Briefly Counseling includes anxiety counseling for teens and Christian counseling.

Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 19.

I provide all services via online therapy in Illinois. Whether you’re in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Rockford, Libertyville, or Crystal Lake, I can help you. Schedule your appointment or consultation today. I look forward to working with your child to quickly and effectively help them in activating their strengths, resources, and resilience, in order to live with confidence and hope.

Visit my website at for more information or call 224-236-2296 to connect with me personally.