Understanding Anxiety in Kids: What Parents Need to Know

If you’re like many parents I talk with in counseling for anxious kids and teens across Illinois and Florida, you may have noticed your child worrying more than usual. Maybe your son refuses to sleep alone because he’s afraid of the dark, or your daughter worries excessively about getting sick. Perhaps mornings have become stressful, filled with stomachaches or tears before school.

Or maybe you’re seeing your teen’s anxiety take on a different form — procrastination, perfectionism, irritability, or even isolation from friends. These struggles can leave you wondering: Is this just a phase, or is something deeper going on?

Let’s take a closer look at anxiety in kids — what it is, what it looks like, and how parents can help.

What Exactly Is Child Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal, even healthy, part of life. It’s our brain’s built-in alarm system, designed to protect us from danger. For kids, that “alarm” might sound when they have to give a presentation, go to the dentist, or spend the night away from home.

But sometimes, that alarm becomes too sensitive. It starts to go off even when there’s no real danger — creating constant worry, racing thoughts, and physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.

Recent studies show that anxiety in kids and teens continues to rise, especially since 2016.

• 11% of children ages 3–17 currently have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, according to the CDC’s latest national data (2022–2023).
  👉 Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

• Among adolescents (ages 13–18), the lifetime prevalence of any anxiety disorder remains around 31.9%, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
  👉 Source: National Institute of Mental Health

• Broader mental and behavioral health trends show an increase from 25.3% in 2016 to 27.7% in 2021 among children, with anxiety and depression contributing most to that growth.
  👉 Source: CDC – Preventing Chronic Disease, 2024

In Summary:

The number of kids struggling with anxiety has continued to climb over the past several years. While occasional worry is a normal part of growing up, more children than ever are experiencing anxiety that disrupts school, friendships, and daily life.

Still, it’s important to remember: occasional anxiety is normal. It becomes a concern when it interferes with daily life, causing distress that lasts for weeks or months and impacts school, friendships, or family relationships.

Why Does My Child Overthink Everything?

Many parents ask me this exact question during therapy sessions. Kids who overthink often have highly active minds — they replay conversations, worry about mistakes, and imagine worst-case scenarios.

Overthinking can be a symptom of anxiety, especially when kids feel pressure to perform, fit in, or avoid failure. It’s not that they want to worry — it’s that their brains are wired to stay alert and prepared, even when they don’t need to be.

If this sounds familiar, you might find it helpful to read my post Child Overthinking Help: 8 Ways to Stop the Cycle of Worry, which dives deeper into why kids overthink and how parents can support them. Together, these articles help create a fuller picture of how anxiety shows up in children and what to do next.

What Causes Child Anxiety?

There’s no single cause. Anxiety usually develops from a mix of genetic, environmental, and biological factors.

• Family history: Anxiety often runs in families.
• Personality: Kids who are sensitive, cautious, or perfectionistic may be more prone to worry.
• Environment: Big changes, high expectations, or exposure to fears and stress can increase anxiety.
• Brain chemistry: Neurotransmitters that regulate mood and fear sometimes become imbalanced.

The takeaway? Anxiety isn’t your fault. It’s a complex condition, and with the right support, kids can learn to manage it effectively.

Common Types of Anxiety in Children and Teens

Not all anxiety looks the same. Here are the three types I most often see in counseling for anxious kids and teens in Illinois and Florida.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Children with GAD worry about everything — school performance, friendships, family health, sports, the future. They often anticipate disaster even when nothing is wrong.

They might say things like:

• “What if I fail the test?”
• “What if you get sick?”
• “What if the teacher calls on me?”

GAD can show up as irritability, perfectionism, restlessness, or physical symptoms like stomachaches. Kids with GAD often recognize that their worries are excessive, yet they can’t turn them off.

Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety

An adjustment disorder happens when a child struggles to cope with a major change or stressor — such as a move, a divorce, or the loss of a pet.

While not a true anxiety disorder, it can trigger worry, sadness, or withdrawal. For some kids, this response is temporary. For others, especially those without strong coping skills or emotional support, it can linger and start affecting school or relationships.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety goes beyond shyness. Kids and teens with this condition feel intense fear of embarrassment, judgment, or rejection in social settings.

Younger children might cry, cling, or complain of stomachaches before events. Teens might avoid social gatherings altogether, withdraw from friends, or fear speaking in class. Learn how to support your child with social anxiety.

Common signs include:

• Avoiding eye contact
• Speaking softly or mumbling
• Refusing to participate in group activities
• Constantly worrying about being judged or laughed at

The key difference between shyness and social anxiety is impact. Shyness fades over time; social anxiety disrupts everyday functioning.

How to Recognize Child Anxiety

Every child experiences anxiety differently, but these are some common patterns I see in my practice.

Symptoms of Anxiety in Kids

• Fear of reading aloud, answering questions, or performing in front of others
• Avoiding birthday parties or social play
• Physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches, nausea)
• Worry about being judged or disliked
• Refusal to participate in class or school

Symptoms of Anxiety in Teens

• Quiet, hesitant, or overly self-critical
• Fear of embarrassment or making mistakes
• Avoiding eye contact or social activities
• Refusing to go to school or participate in sports
• Difficulty speaking up in class or initiating friendships
• Nervous habits such as fidgeting, hair-twirling, or nail-biting
• Perfectionistic tendencies especially schoolwork

When anxiety is chronic, it can begin to look like defiance or disinterest — but beneath the surface, it’s often fear.

How to Stop Kids from Overthinking and Worrying

Parents often feel helpless watching their child struggle with worry, but there are many small, consistent things you can do that make a big difference.

Stay Curious, Not Critical

Ask questions that show genuine care, not frustration.
Try:

• “What’s going through your mind when you feel anxious?”
• “What do you notice happening in your body?”
• “What usually helps you calm down?”

Encourage Problem-Solving

Let your child brainstorm solutions rather than offering quick fixes.
Ask:

• “What do you think might help next time?”
• “What’s one small step you can take?”

This builds resilience against anxiety.

Validate Their Feelings

Instead of saying, “Don’t worry,” try:

• “That sounds really hard.”
• “I can see why you’d feel nervous.”
  Validation doesn’t make anxiety worse; it helps your child feel understood and safe.

Highlight Strengths

Remind your child of times they’ve successfully faced challenges:

• “Remember when you were nervous about camp but ended up loving it?”
• “You were brave that day — what helped you do it?”
  Helping them recall past resilience gives them proof they can handle hard things again.

When to Consider Counseling for Anxious Kids

If your child’s anxiety is persistent, intense, or interfering with daily life, it may be time to seek professional help.

Before starting therapy, have your pediatrician rule out any medical issues or medication side effects. Once that’s done, working with a child anxiety therapist can be life-changing.

Through structured approaches like Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), kids and teens learn how to recognize their thought patterns, manage physical symptoms, and build confidence in handling future worries. Learn more about Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).

FAQs About Anxiety and Overthinking in Kids

Why causes kids overthinking?
Kids overthink because their brains are still developing the ability to regulate worry and emotion. Sensitive or high-achieving children are especially prone to replaying mistakes or imagining worst-case scenarios.

How can I tell if my child’s overthinking is normal or anxiety-related?
Occasional worry is part of growing up. But if your child’s thoughts spiral daily, disrupt sleep, or cause physical symptoms like stomachaches, it’s likely tied to anxiety and worth exploring with a counselor.

What’s the best way to help an overthinking child calm down?
Stay calm yourself, listen without interrupting, and help your child name their worry (“I’m scared I’ll mess up”). Naming it gives them control. Then guide them toward simple calming tools for anxious kids — slow breathing, stretching, or focusing on one helpful thought.

Can anxiety go away on its own?
Mild anxiety can improve with reassurance and coping tools. But when it’s chronic or disruptive, counseling is often the fastest path toward lasting relief.

Updated October 2025 to include new parent strategies, FAQs, and updated links for supporting kids and teens with anxiety.

Begin Child Therapy in Chicago, Illinois and Florida for Anxious Kids and Teens!

If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, there is hope! Anxiety is highly treatable and child therapy for anxiety treatment at Briefly Counseling can help.

Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, I help kids and teens reduce their anxiety and build resilience so they can become a happier, more confident version of themselves.

And kids love being able to receive counseling from the comfort and privacy of their own home. Studies have consistently proven that online therapy delivers equal results to in-office counseling.

As an experienced and caring child therapist in Chicago, IL and FL, I love providing counseling for anxiety. To start your child’s counseling journey, call me at 224-236-2296 or complete my Contact Form to schedule a FREE 20-minute consultation.

Helena Madsen, MA, LCPC is the founder of Briefly Counseling. I specialize in providing online short-term anxiety treatment for kids and teens ages 7 – 18 as well as Christian counseling.

Whether you’re on the North Shore, in Naperville, Chicago, Champaign, Barrington, Libertyville, Glenview, or downstate Illinois, I can help.

I am now licensed in Florida! For parents in Jacksonville, Pensacola, Destin, Crestview, Coral Gables, Weston, Parkland, Naples, Marco Island, and Pinecrest, I have immediate openings.